Tools-of-the-Way to Arrive
When someone tells me they enjoy the way I write, a strange thing happens. First, it makes me happy to know my thoughts resonated. But right behind that feeling comes a wave of an old, familiar guilt. It is not because I did something wrong, but because I am doing now what I did when I started painting. I usually start most of my paintings with reference photos. This helps me paint out a rough foundation using blocks of color and scribbles. It opens up the creative space I crave to get to. But it is not always easy to get there. It can take some effort (which I think is the “work” part of artwork), but the use of photos has become a guide to where I feel to go. It can also serve as a tool to cut through my procrastination of starting and help me get to a space where procrastination can’t live.
The photo is simply the way in, it doesn't hold my brain captive to it, and that's when my heART can take over. Most of my paintings don't even end up looking like the image I started with. If you saw them side by side, you'd wonder how that reference could have ever led to the final piece. I used to rely heavily on my photo reference at first, which caused a feeling of guilt, but I kept at it anyway because it felt good. It was just a training wheel to help me find my balance and enjoy the ride. Over the years, I have learned my own way to use my camera to capture the feeling-in-the-seeing as a note to remember. I discovered that my photos became teachers to work with closely in the beginning in order to cut through the surface stuff, learn it, know it, and begin to move inward and away from the tool.
Online tools have become just like that camera for me now. When I use them to start an email or draft out my thoughts, it brings back that exact same feeling I had in the beginning with painting, that slight sting of guilt for needing a crutch, mixed with the relief of finally getting started.
Every thought, insight, and idea comes from my own mind. I carefully pick and choose from what the online tools help me articulate. I am the one putting it all together, shaping it the way I hear myself inside. It is a dual process of expression and education. For me, these tools start as a crutch, evolve into a teacher, and eventually lead me to a place where I no longer need them in the same way. I know that with time, I will only get better at this, growing both within myself and in how I share and be of my heART. Thanks, tools. And thank you all for reading this, for being here, and getting there with me.
May tools be your teachers,
Katie
City Bird 2 | acrylic and imagination on panel | 48” x 36” | 2026